just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
3pm strippers are depressing
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
