Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
