Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this will be a night to untag.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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