I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
