Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
