i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
