If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
