Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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