i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
