O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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