2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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