So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I have tasted many bathrooms
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
