I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
