butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
