The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
