are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
