Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
