Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
