Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
