Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
