well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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