Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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