Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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