I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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