so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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