I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
