I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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