It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
