i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
