Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
