1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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