in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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