i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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