there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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