Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
