well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
