Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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