I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
