Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
