I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
