I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
