I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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