i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
