We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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