Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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