i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
found the other keg... it's in the tree
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I need moral support for this bender
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
