It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
