Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
