I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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