Midget sex pt 2 tonight
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
